Coming Down the Mountain 22

When I was to begin Teacher Training Level 1 in Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, I was feeling some major physical resistance in my stomach.  It was Friday evening, and there were knots in my gut.  Something inside of me was telling me that this was a bad idea and that I needed to just stay home and take care of myself.  This was beyond the nervousness of fear, this was physical pain.  The next two days, over the course of the weekend, I literally could not breathe through my nose, and that was all that we were to do all weekend, breathing exercises, and I could not get a clean breath through my nose to save my life.  All of this physical resistance was my body warning me that I did not want to go through the emotional hell that was about to be unleashed through me for the next year.  As I began to transform and become the me that I was meant to be, I had to let go of everything; everything that I thought that I wanted, needed and loved.  The grief was not constant, there were ups and downs, but it was monumental, earth shattering and life changing.  Today I see that I had to go through all of that to find the peace and tranquility of who I am today, and I am still changing, evolving, and not afraid, physically, mentally or emotionally, to move through it.

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