Coming Down the Mountain 23

The first twelve step program that I attended was Al Anon, this was in 1999, and I was having an emotional breakdown.  I was drinking and using, in a bad relationship, the kids were becoming teenagers, and, in retrospect, I had no idea what I was doing.  As most life changing decisions that I make, I do not remember how I got to my first al anon meeting, I just know that it was conveniently located across the street from my office, it was ACA oriented, and it began my rocky journey into recovery.  It would be another 4 years before I got sober, but the seed was firmly planted. There are so many tools that I am given in that program, and because the work is subtle, I often forget their importance.  Al anon symptoms include a compulsive tendency to be controlling, while being a people pleaser.  This can get messy, sticky, and lead to a lot of passive aggressive behavior.  Learning to set boundaries, keep the focus on myself and not on someone else, and to state my truth while being kind, yet firm, and not easy lessons to learn; for many of us they require a whole new mind set.  Once I have heard what it is that I need to learn about myself and my behavior, I have to continually repeat the exercise so that it sinks deep into the subconscious and rewrites the script within me.  Reading the material, working one on one with our sponsors, talking it out in meetings, and working the steps are how we change and grow.

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