Ahimsa: nonviolence: 5

When I am not well balanced, I am much more susceptible to the primal fight or flight nature of my primal instincts.  I revert back to that caveman in my DNA that had to decide in a split second whether to fight, or quit, like that old cigarette commercial from the 60s with the tagline, I would rather fight than quit.  I AM IN REACTION MODE.  Fear begets violence.  I have found myself in a situation that I perceived as dangerous, and of course 99.99% of the time there was no danger involved whatsoever, it was all in my perception, so I would either disappear, either physically, mentally or emotionally, or I would react in an abusive and violent manner, saying cutting, cruel or sarcastic words, with a superior tonality, or in a harsh manner.  I might act passive aggressively, or just plain aggressively. I might hurt someone, someone that perhaps I thought that I Ioved, on many different levels, all because I was afraid. I was afraid of not having enough, not being good enough, not being loved, being abandoned. Today I will pause when I am agitated. I will understand what can trigger my issues.  I will do my daily practice, and try to live consciously, so that I am coming from a higher state of being, more open to all of the love, all of the opportunity for love, even in the most pressing moments of the day.